It’s interesting that you talk about that inner voice and how harsh we can be on ourselves. If I watch the self-talk and I put on my glasses and I see that I am slightly befuddled, I’m pretty damaged… I’m not going to get over all that much here this side of eternity.
He himself was not an alcoholic, but he said to Bill, “Sometimes I think that heaven is just a new pair of glasses.” And if I put on the gentle glasses with myself, everything flows from that. This guy, this priest helped Bill Wilson get off the ground in 1935. She said to me in 1986, “Watch the self-talk,” and so I need to watch the self-talk and I need to stop criticizing myself. I call her Horrible Bonnie because she always loves me no matter what condition I’m in, whatever ugly, bitter, judgemental, hysterical condition I’m in. I have a mentor since I got sober 35 years ago. I mean, what does that look like exactly right now? Anne Lamott What does radical self-care look like? Because you’ve talked about that a lot in your books and in your interviews and in your Ted Talk. I go into the truth that I am powerless over people, places, and things, but that I can do radical self-care and I can try to remember to breathe every so often. And my help hurts people.” And so, I don’t even try to help and save and fix myself anymore. My help never got a single person clean and sober. Sam and I were just joking about the terrible truth that my help is not helpful. And the solution is to powerlessness, is to go, “Oh wait. And when I was in India when my grandson was one year old, I thought, “God, if I had a clipboard and some of post-it I could I post it so I could really get this joint organized. And then it turns out to be a very, very beautiful way to be a grownup, to be so permeable and to be brave enough, probably, through recovery in the 12 steps to be vulnerable because that’s where the richness has arrived for me. And my son came that way, too, that we came out a lot of armor on, and it’s awful to be a child and a teenager without armor. We took the National Geographic, I saw the covers. I was aware of what was happening in India. I’ve told my readers that in the ’50s, there was a book going around called The Overly Sensitive Child, which my parents had, which meant that I was paying attention. Well, it’s always been that way for me, actually. I loved how you described your state of being as “a mixed grill of happy anticipation and dread.” Talk about what it’s like to be alive in the world right now and to hang on to your sanity right now? Anne Lamott You have described yourself as being somebody who’s extremely sensitive, And I think given everything going on in the world, it’s a tough time to be extremely sensitive. I will say that upfront in case people think I’m being inappropriately familiar.
It’s really, really wonderful to have you both. Anne Lamott, welcome to Heart of the Matter.
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